Grocery Shopping
by Fuko Ibuki
Summary: Hidan notices the disturbing lack of food in their part of the base, and makes Kakuzu go shopping. Rated T for swearing Written for Zetsue on tumblr. A series of non-related one shots featuring kakuhida. Some may be AU
1. Grocery Shopping

I do not own Naruto

"Kakuzu? Why the fuck don't we have anything to eat?" It was early in the morning, and Hidan had just woken up to make breakfast. However, when he opened the fridge, all he saw was some moldy bread and a rotten carton of milk.

"I suppose we don't have anything to eat because we let it all go bad on our last mission." Hidan growled. Kakuzu was right, their last mission had been particularly longer than usual, so most of the food that was in the fridge at their part of the base was no longer edible.

"Well what the fuck am I supposed to eat then?" Hidan yelled, his voice getting progressively louder. Kakuzu cringed; it was too early for this.

"Maybe you can go grab something from Deidara and Sasori…" Kakuzu said. He was really not in the mood for Hidan's whining today.

"Like hell I'm asking blondie and his puppet bitch for food! Who knows what the fuck they put in their food!" Hidan practically shouted. "Can't we just go to the grocery store or something? I know you're cheap but come on-" Hidan gulped as he saw the glare that Kakuzu shot him from across the room. If Hidan wasn't immortal, and looks could kill, he would have been long dead.

"Fine. We'll go. But if you so much as whine ONCE, I will not hesitate to tie your head from the bathroom door and leave you there." Kakuzu grumbled. He really hated spending money on trivial things, although food wasn't really trivial, he supposed. "And we're only getting the basics, nothing extravagant." Kakuzu stated firmly. Hidan opened his mouth to protest, but one look from Kakuzu and he quickly shut it. Both men grabbed their shoes and headed out the door.

"Man, this place fucking reeks!" Hidan shouted. The grocery store was unusually crowded for the weekend, and even Kakuzu had to agree, the aroma was not exactly pleasing.

"Let's just get this over with." Kakuzu grumbled. He still wasn't very pleased about the fact that he had to spend money, especially at Hidan's request. Hidan smirked behind him, and hurried to match the old man's pace.

Finally, the two partners left the store. Hidan was unusually quiet on the way home, which while this would normally have been a relief to Kakuzu, it worried him. Did the immortal fiend have something planned? Or was he just being paranoid. Finally, Hidan spoke. "Hey 'Kuzu?" Kakuzu turned around to look at Hidan. He only called him Kuzu when they were alone.

"What, Hidan?" Kakuzu asked, softening his tone slightly at the use of the nickname. Hidan smiled, and quickly leaned over, pecking Kakuzu on the cheek.

"Thank you." Hidan smiled again, a genuine smile that was reserved for Kakuzu alone. Kakuzu paused for a moment, then patted Hidan on the head.

"You're welcome, Hidan." He said softly. It wasn't often Hidan thanked him for anything. Suddenly, Hidan rushed ahead.

"Now hurry the hell up, old man, I'm fucking starving!" He shouted, still smiling. Kakuzu sighed, so much for Hidan being quiet.

The end? ? ? ? ?


	2. Bank

Ok so I don't know how banks work or how they keep the money so let's just go with this ok

I do not own Naruto

"Hurry up, moron!" Kakuzu barked at his younger partner.

"I'm coming, you old bastard!" Hidan yelled back. Two gunshots sounded from outside the bank as Hidan ran to catch up with Kakuzu. "Hurry up and crack the code, we don't have a lot of time, the police should be here any minute!" Hidan was getting anxious. This was not their best planned robbery, and they both knew it. Tension was in the air as Kakuzu finally opened the vault to grab the money.

"Hurry up and grab the money Hidan," Kakuzu said, tossing the younger male a big bag. "I'll keep watch. Make it quick." The angry shouts of the police could be heard outside of the bank. Kakuzu grimaced, they didn't have much time. He quickly glanced over at his partner in crime, checking to see if he was actually doing as he was told. Hidan tended to be rather defiant, and hated it when Kakuzu ordered him around.

"Alright, you old fucker! I got the money; let's get the fuck out of here!" Hidan yelled back, smirking. Mission accomplished. Kakuzu nodded, his evil grin hidden by his mask. Suddenly, the doors burst open and about 30 cops rushed in. Kakuzu threw Hidan a glance, and they both headed for the back exit as quickly as they could, the cops hot on their tails. Finally reaching the door, they ran out into the alley behind the bank, where their ride was waiting. Quickly, they hopped into the car, and started driving away, shooting at a few police men who were just now reaching the back door.

"Well, that was a fucking disaster!" Hidan sighed wearily.

"I'm just glad we got out in time." Kakuzu agreed. Though the two argued constantly, they worked surprisingly well together when it became necessary. Their ride slowed down to a stop in front of an old apartment complex, where the two men were staying while in town. Hopping out of the car, Hidan and Kakuzu shuffled into the shabby building, being careful so they were not heard. Once they reached their shared apartment, Kakuzu silently closed the door behind them, locking it. Plopping down on the bed, he removed his mask, something he did only when he was alone with Hidan.

"So, what's the hold up? Don't you want to count the money?" Hidan asked, eying Kakuzu curiously. Kakuzu groaned in response. Hidan raised his eyebrow, then silently stood up and sat down on the bed next to Kakuzu. "You okay, old man? You seem more tired than usual." Hidan observed, being unusually soft. Kakuzu opened his eyes to look at the silver haired man, surprised. Hidan was almost always yelling and shouting, so this was a pleasant turn of events.

"I'm fine, Hidan, just tired." Kakuzu answered. This robbery had really wiped him out; it was more stressful than usual due to the short time limit and the fact that they had almost gotten caught. Kakuzu sighed; they would have to move soon, it wouldn't be long before the police found them. Hidan watched Kakuzu rest, noting that he was very tense.

"Hey Kakuzu, sit up for a minute will ya?" Kakuzu did has he was told, not sure exactly what Hidan was planning. Suddenly, he felt two strong hands on his shoulders. Hidan started to massage his partner's shoulders, earning a relieved groan from the older man. "You're really tense, 'Kuzu." Hidan frowned, moving his hands lower down Kakuzu's back. Kakuzu sighed pleasantly in response. It wasn't often that Hidan used the nickname he coined for him.

"Hidan, what are you doing?" Kakuzu asked as Hidan's hands stopped rubbing his back, instead circling around his waist, pulling him close. Despite their tough personalities, they both had a soft spot for each other, a fact that neither of them cared to admit. Hidan just smiled, not bothering to answer Kakuzu. They both knew that the other felt something more than friendship, but neither were ready to confess. The life they lived left little room for friendship, much less romance. Trust no one, that was always their motto, until they partnered up of course.

Kakuzu decided to just let Hidan be, after all, the embrace was not exactly unwelcome. Kakuzu smiled, it was nice to relax after their operations. Leaning back into Hidan's chest, Kakuzu felt Hidan rest his head on his shoulder. The two men stayed like that for awhile, before separating. It was late, and both needed their rest, for they would be fleeing town early the next morning. They both moved to their separate beds, somewhat more relaxed than before.

"Goodnight 'Kuzu…" Hidan said, drifting off to sleep. Kakuzu grinned as he shut off the light.

"Goodnight, Hidan."


End file.
